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How The West Is Won

by Step Children

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1.
The moon's working overtime The sun slept in The lark is asking, "Why?" The bees are buzzing, "When?" The loons will lose their minds When the tale spins The fun is in the high Which ends as it begins Soon the land is brilliant & bright And everything in Abilene is good & right All the leaves on every tree Quiver with delight I feed on watermelon down to the rind I need a reason to forget the rhyme I'm at the end of the line in a blue monsoon I'm the last tycoon Tune it out any time It don't make sense Maria's asking, "Why?" Sabrina's wondering, "When?" The moon is a satellite Or is it a flashlight? All the clouds are smoldering Like vacant campsites Soon the land is wrought with blight And everything in Abilene is fight or flight All the leaves on every tree Shiver in the night I'm a Leo, but I'm more like a cancer I'm a CEO with the answers I'm a Briscoe swap meet banjo Self-saboteur, an adequate dancer From the Rio Grande to Port Arthur Through calico columns of cat fur I've grown accustomed To eating crow I'm not a felon, I'm the shoe-in kind This is the season for a new design I'll send a clue in the line Of a Seuss cartoon I'm fraught with dollar signs & a silver spoon
2.
High on the hill where the flowers grow Down in the valley of echoes Kill for the limelight & bask in its glow The power's on in the studio The devil's child In the land of angels The will of the wild Outmans the faithful It's no wonder why country girls Wind up in the city When you're living in the kind of world Without pity Good thing you're pretty You're a lucky star LA's far from Texas Valets sleep in gardens Ballet of the sexists It's no wonder why country girls Wind up in the city When you're living in the kind of world Without pity Thank God you're pretty All you straighten will revert to curls Broken by the brackish creek Loosen up and give it a whirl Backstroke by committee My goose is cooked with just one look The flight is booked, the fish is hooked You made a promise to me That you never meant to keep
3.
You do whatever you feel Don't ever steal From those who know Just for show From San Antone to Amarillo You're blowing smoke You're nothing Nothing but a joke Love's an a la carte shopping cart Of broken hearts, replacement parts And tranquilizer darts You are a wild card I've got it out for you You'd better say your prayers I'm gonna count my points of view Anytime, anywhere You wheel whatever you deal Can't tell what's real From what's a hoax It's just for show From El Paso to Amarillo You're a medicine show You're nothing Nothing but a joke
4.
5.
Twins 04:18
I gave up everything for nothing I waved the white flag around I'm saving room for something Or someone I don't care about I paved the highway to Midland I laid away out of town I'm still the father of my children Wake me up & shake me down Forgive my sins And I will yours Who gets the twins? Who's keeping score? My favorite thing to do is nothing I'm caving in and checking out I shaved again for something Or someone I don't care about The bird is in the chimney The TV's on the lawn I chopped down every tree And now the feeling's gone I saved up everything for nothing I'm checking in and tapping out I am a charming snake I am a roundabout
6.
Canyon Trash 02:34
Route 83 Where you taking me? I'm out key And out of warranty My suit's quite slimming But the collar's brown Light is dimming It's settling down The swimming hole Is hollow ground They're skimming cards And making rounds Pull on the handle Climb inside Bolt like a bull And enjoy the ride Cool as a candle High as a kite Fly that sucker Into the night Route 83 South of Abilene Out in the country Gallons of gasoline 25 miles from any town Picking it up, breaking it down Sticking it out, coming around They're having doubts & losing ground Pull on the handle Climb inside Bolt like a bull And enjoy the ride Brick's on the pedal Kick it in drive Nine thousand pounds Taking a dive Plastic bottles, sectionals You got the kitchen sink Aerosol & methanol I've found the missing link Put in the call—don't overthink it Foot of the free fall Deep in a thicket Steep as the canyon wall
7.
I'm out line, I'm out of control I'm fully reclined, I'm exchangeable It's too late in the play for a curtain call He said, she said, free-for-all I'm out of sight, I can't be consoled I'm throwing the fight, I'm microwavable Seesaw hee haw hole in the wall 5'8" lightweight know-it-all Chicken fried The steaks are dry Slip & slide The stakes are high Nickel-and-dimed at the watering hole I'm out time, I'm in cruise control All my passengers are bowling balls And thermoses of alcohol I need a new attorney I need a private eye I need a second helping I need Spanish fly I won't let her win, I don't want her back I'm thin as a dime, I'm taking a bath 7-10 split, I'm doing the math A minute away from a heart attack Fiction's fake—face the facts
8.
Time eludes me I'm bad at keeping time Sultan of the Sand, I'm a land mine Duke of the Dunes, I'm a landline Time colludes with space Against me all the time Afternoon comes too soon I'm a landslide Take my money Take my clothes Fake it honey Take it slow You are a dove You are above everyone I'm done with love I've had enough of this Time pollutes me I'm only a pastime Sultan of the Sand, I'm the fall guy Duke of the Dunes, I'm a fault line Time abuses space And I'm just killing time When the moon comes too soon I'm a flatline Cut it in half Count the beans I'm clean as Saint Augustine Yellow & green & everything in between Cut me in half—Nice & neat Take the house, make a scene You're the pageant queen But I'm still the King of Abilene
9.
It's a toe tapping cap gun kinda kidnap She's tossed into the back of a Cadillac Tied up to the trunk of an old apple tree He's demanding a ransom at a handsome fee Cheap suits & cowboy boots She's gagged down on her knees What a hoot at the photo shoot When he set that woman free Dream deep as sycamore roots But nature never sleeps Cut loose with the kind of loot That'll make a grown man weep It's the gasoline In a limousine It's the beauty queen In a magazine Gold's turning green And the silver screen ain't what it used to be More like a smoke screen So the coke & the joke's on me Cheap suits & cowboy boots They're dancing under the tree What a hoot at the photo shoot When he let that woman be Dream deep as sycamore roots No, nature never sleeps Cut loose when you bear the fruit But the seeds ain't yours to keep They're running on black caffeine And a dash of nicotine In a cul-de-sac On a trampoline They're going where the grass is green And the past is history Where the talking's fast but the money's clean Don't forget the sunscreen By the time I realized the documents were falsified The signature was forged and notarized This is how the West is won—The white man kills the Indian The Mexican is in for a surprise She plagiarized her way through life The check's been cashed, the deal's done They stacked the deck, the truck is wrecked And that is how the West is won
10.
Bail on the bondsman, lay the banana peel Hay bale hate mail, cow tail pinwheel Skip out on the court date, hide everything you steal Hold the nail still—I'm gonna seal the deal Hail on the rooftop, card table cartwheels Hightail it with the cops on your heels Stay out of jail if you're ready to squeal Otherwise you're gonna need a couple appeals Cowboys, Indians How much to have some fun? All because it was a shotgun wedding That blew away everyone The sky's the color of anti-freeze Just dust bunny tumbleweeds Down in the dumps with the Chief of Police Next round's on me I'm leaving Fat Sally's four drinks deep And heading downtown to The Hickory Green chili quiche & a front porch daydream Nine rounds in my 33 Bless this broken glass The best things never last Move it along—Can't shake the past Lead story on every newscast The pool's turning green They're taping off the crime scene Gonna need a lot more chlorine If you know what I mean Lea's locks are kelp run ashore The fox got paid, but the help's still poor Take tomorrow off And file the report on Monday It's raining, it's pouring My cellmate is snoring Steinbeck's indelible Kerouac is boring

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Debut LP – Available on 12" vinyl

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released September 22, 2017

All songs by Daniel Owens & Derek Shaw

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Step Children San Francisco, California

Post-apocalyptic electronic rock

Derek Shaw
Daniel Owens

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